MockPhysical
by raigingstorm
Summary: "Because you're all that I have, you stupid shortie! And you're going to leave me, probably soon!" Oneshot. RoyEd, EdRoy. A/U. Young Roy, ghost Ed. Rated for language.


**Hey guys~  
>I knoooww this isn't an update to Sparks, and I can't even tell you to expect a new chapter for at least another two weeks. Please don't kill me over that - My muse died and this little thing brought it back.<strong>

**A few people wanted a continuation of "Reading With Colonel Mustang," and I suppose that's what you could consider this. However, it certainly can stand alone, and so it is. I realllly wanted to write something like this for a very long time. So, before we begin, let me clear a few things up:**

**I am not pressing my views on afterlife on you in any way. In fact, this is only a fraction true of what I actually believe, twisted and marred and shifted to fit the best interests of the storyline. Also, I am not saying that ANY religion's view on the afterlife is WRONG. I just had to write like it was for sake of the fic. Now, with that out of the way...**

**Please continue to not only my longest Oneshot so far, but also my most favorite (with RwCM as a very close second). Enjoy.**

**BY THE WAY, I HAD NO IDEA WHAT TO NAME THIS ONESHOT.  
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**DISCLAIMER: I do not own FMA. Do you have any idea how fucked up the FMA universe would be if I did? Not to mention that Roy and Ed would be TOGETHER?**

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><p>Mock-Physical<p>

Eternity was always a nice concept in life. The idea that after you passed on, you would have forever to rest and relax and spend with those you loved spread across every world like wildfire. Afterlife became an obsession for millions.

Few knew the real truth in life, and all were forced to re-learn the truth in death.

The truth was that Truth had no such heavenly place of eternity. Truth was hungry for, well, _Truth_, and constantly kept its cycle of lives moving between Gates upon death or otherwise to satisfy its appetite. Put simply, the infinite forms of life followed the basic laws of alchemy or any constructed science: nothing is created, nor destroyed. Everything shifts about, even in a state of equilibrium. Cessation of movement is cessation of existing. Truth had created the cycle, and it wasn't about to let it stop in favor of its creation's ideals of what awaited them after death.

Some could remember brief glimpses of their past lives. Some remembered sights of places they'd never really been, or feelings for someone they just met. Most lived in ignorant bliss of what had happened to them previously. Edward Elric had the habit of clinging to feelings of his twin flame. Roy Mustang would dream about gold hair and eyes until he saw them in person.

In the time between expiration and the next life, souls could wander their newest world as a spirit until their place in that world opened up for them. During this time, they were free to do as they pleased, causing havoc and/or changing the course of another's life. Truth liked the deviance. Not many souls were left to their own devices for more than a few hours at most, but sometimes courses of events caused a particular's being to wait until the next opportunity specifically for them to arise to become "living."

Thus was the case with Edward. After seeing Roy during the time his spirit was bound to an alchemy book, he had lived a fair life of ten more years. In the end, he was killed by someone power-hungry and malicious. Once he had realized he was passing on, his body relaxed, even as the blood poured from his wounds and the fire that he had once been rescued from consumed him.

Memories from past lives flooded back as he fled his mortal casing for the plane of Truth. Images of automail and bombs and strange creatures he had not seen in his last life flitted through his mind, but mostly there was Roy. Roy kissing him for the first time ever, Roy's hand entwined with his. Roy at his most intimate, touching Ed casually. Roy as a dark-haired female, Roy as an alpha animal followed by his pack, Roy as the flower who once grew on the vine of Ed. Millions of past lives, millions of times he had met up with his mate. Sometimes as female, sometimes as human, sometimes as bitter enemies, but always there, always seen.

He meshed into the other souls before the white being of Truth. There was no sight, no sound; only the endless sea of what they had seen and felt. Truth flared and absorbed the new things they had to give, then allowed them to flow away into different gateways to become what they would the next life.

Ed passed through his gate and felt the familiarity of his "normal" human form – the golden-haired blonde male he assumed more often than not. He gave himself a quick glance-over. Yes, he was the "normal" Edward Elric, in ghost form, waiting for his chance to be born. Around him was a meadow sporting lush grass and picture-perfect wildflowers. A pond sparkled with cool water several yards away and a large mansion towered off in the distance. Briefly, he wondered if that was where he was to be conceived, though past experience told him that the place he was dropped off at as a spirit didn't always have anything to do with what he'd go through as a living being. What did count was how he appeared, because it would be a state he would eventually reach in his life.

He felt the familiar pull of longing and knew Roy was already in a physical state. With nothing better to do, he began to look around. Maybe he could find something to occupy himself until _that time_ came and he could once again be ignorant of the inner-workings of existence. Hopefully the wait wouldn't be too long.

He hovered above the ground, thinking about continuing on this way, but deciding against it. After all, assuming a mock-physical form wouldn't have any repercussions. What could anyone who caught him do, kill him? With that, his bare feet touched the ground. He gave a small smile at the feeling. Sometimes, touch was the best asset humans had going for them.

From off in the distance, up by the mansion, the sound of fast-moving feet could be heard over the still silence. Ed blinked in curiosity. Who was coming along to entertain him? He ducked down into the knee-high grass, willing himself semi-transparent to allow the grass to stand naturally through him.

The running figure slowly came into view and Ed gasped. It was a young Roy, probably five or six in age. He too, had apparently been created to his "normal" human form, for a mop of dark hair adorned his head and his eyes sparkled like the finest onyx. He wore a short-sleeved white shirt and olive shorts and sandals that clapped against his feet as he went. He stopped short at the pond and pulled off his shirt, laughing mischievously as he did so. Ed smiled and felt his heart warm. Same old Roy, obviously causing trouble as a child. Ed watched as the young boy dashed into the pond, soaking himself properly before diving under.

Now was his chance to act. Ed stood, completely visible, and stepped to the edge of the pond. In his best deep voice, he yelled, "Roy Mustang! Get out of that water, _now_! You are in big trouble!"

A small head poked up and gazed at Ed. The blonde watched, amused, as black eyes widened and Roy stood all the way up so that his mouth stayed above the water level. "Who are you?" he demanded, his voice adorably pitched, "and why are you _naked?_"

Ed swallowed. Oops. He'd forgotten his lack of clothing. Suddenly self-conscious, he covered his genital areas with his hands and blushed lightly. Maybe disappearing would be a good idea…

"Are you one of those people Momma warned me abou'? The ones who do bad things to kids and then try to steal money?" Roy said quickly, "or are you one of those… _nutcases_ Daddy has to go to work with? 'cuz Daddy said they do things like run around naked when they drink too much stinky Kool-Aid."

Ed laughed, letting his humor play out over his features. "No, I'm not either of those."

Roy smiled before becoming serious again. "Was that you who called for me to get out?"

"Yes," Ed admitted, any resolve to be difficult with this young Roy melting. He was just too damned cute.

"Do you need clothes? What's your name? Are you a hobo?" Roy shot out before diving under the water and popping back up closer to the shore, shaking his head to rid himself of the liquid like a dog.

Ed smiled again. "My name is Edward. I'm not a hobo, though I do need some clothes. You wouldn't mind getting me some, would you?"

Roy shook his head, his eyes fixated on Ed's face. "I can sneak past the maids any day, even when I'm wet. 'Sides, I can jus' blame the dog. He won't complain… You think my Daddy's clothes would fit you?"

"Probably. They don't have to fit perfectly or anything." Ed sat, allowing the grass to cover his lower body. "Oh, and if you happen to get caught… don't tell anyone I'm out here. They won't believe you, trust me."

"'Kay. I'll be back soon, I guess." Roy stood from the pond and took one last glace at Ed before taking off to the house. Laughter bubbled out from Ed's insides, as warm and bright as the sun above him. How good was it to see Roy! It appeared as though he was born this time as a wealthy child, and obviously spoiled. This lifestyle seemed to suit him best anyways…

Ed lay back, tucking his arms behind his head as a cushion. He let his mind drift, blank, as he avoided his past memories. He would forget everything as soon as he was mortal, so he only had to avoid the overwhelming amount of knowledge until he felt the familiar pull of integrating with his body.

It wasn't long before Roy returned with a bundle of clothing. Confused because he could no longer see Ed, he walked about, searching. "Where'd you-?" He yelped at the same time Edward cried out as he stepped on the blonde's stomach.

"Ah!" Ed gasped out. The kid was surprisingly heavy! "Shit!"

Roy's eyes widened to a point that Ed thought they were going to burst forward from the boy's head. "You just said a _curse word._"

"Well, _yeah_," he said, straining to keep his voice level, "you _stepped_ on me."

"Oh." Roy said, staring at him again before dropping the clothes on him. "Here's your clothes."

With a huffed "thank you," Ed stood, turned around and put them on. Some things never changed, and Roy's bastardliness was one of them. Even as a child.

He turned back to face the young boy, tan slacks drooping a little and far too long for his height and shirt unbuttoned because it was far too large anyways. Before he could get a word in edgewise, however, Roy started up with his questions again. "Where will you stay? How'd you get here? Are you going to live with us? Do you know my Daddy or Momma?" He paused for a second but spoke again before Ed could say anything. "_How did you know my name?"_

"Are you going to let me answer? I don't need a place to stay and I'm not quite sure how I got here," he lied, "I know your name because I know _you_, though I do not know your parents." Well… they were all partially true, at least.

Roy pouted. "Those aren't real answers."

"You never asked for real answers," Ed returned.

"Okay, but why were you _naked_?" the boy asked, emphasizing the word "naked" like it were some sort of curse word.

Edward pursed his lips for a brief second. "I can't tell you why just yet."

"Why not?"

"Because I just can't."

Roy scowled, reminding Ed heavily of how _he_ used to respond to Roy. "That's not a real answer either! You're 'vioding all my questions!"

"One day," the blonde grinned, "I'll tell you everything you want to know. Not today."

"Well," the boy huffed, "….do you want to go swimming with me? I'm bored."

"You'd have to get me more clothes…" Ed trailed, ending in a note that conveyed his want. He wanted to do _anything_ with Roy, just as long as it was with him.

Bright onyx eyes brightened, like Ed had offered their owner all the candy or toys in the world. "I could get you more! Will you really swim with me?"

Ed nodded in response, and Roy shot off towards the house.

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><p>Weeks passed by and still Edward lingered as a ghost. It began to hurt to shift between true spirit and mock-physical form. He had been out of body, out of mortality for too long. His soul wasn't used to such prolonged periods of ghostliness. Roy came out to the meadow to see him every day, however, and that alone made his non-mortal existence bearable.<p>

The two did all manner of little-kid things. They swam, they ran and played tag. A couple of days Roy carried out a basket that was a quarter of his size and full of food. While Ed had no reason to eat (he felt no hunger as a spirit), he gladly took the little sandwiches the younger boy pressed on him and smiled when he found they were something bizarre – like pickles and peanut butter. Some days they sprawled out on the grass and talked about Roy's life.

Roy was indeed, as Ed had guessed, only five. Still, his level of comprehension and even some of the things he did now betrayed the mature man he would grow into over the years. His family was extremely wealthy due to his father's business in "stinky Kool-Aid" (wine, Ed had found one day when their game of tag took them the half-mile over to the vineyards). Roy was often left to his own devices as long as he remained on the property and was back before it got too dark to see outside. He was home-schooled by tutors but all schoolwork was done in the hours of the morning following his awakening for the day. The boy was pleased to boast that he was doing third-grader's work when he was _supposed_ to be in first grade. Aside from the most basic information, Roy refused to speak about his parents, conveying unintentionally his (more than likely) tattered relationship with the both of them. From the sound of it, the maids were left to care for the young Roy and more often than not, couldn't contain him.

Ed listened in stride, happy that Roy was so open with him – though whether the boy's openness came from his young age or something else was hard to discern. Ed _could_, however, tell that Roy absolutely adored him and so was pleased to know that the feeling was mutual. Ed could feel that general strong sense of love he felt whenever he had _really_ been around Roy and it thrilled him. There was no lust, no dire need except that of the need to be with Roy, just love as strong as the stone pillars that held up the inside of the mansion.

And so, the weeks blended into months and the months combined for a year. Winter came and went, and with it came the nights Roy would sneak Ed into his bedroom at night so he wouldn't "freeze to a chunk of ice" and thusly, the nights that Ed sat on a squashy beanbag pretending to sleep so Roy would, too. The cold, early days of spring found them tucked away in some remote room drawing together or reading to each other in hushed voices.

There were also the days that the pain of remaining disembodied hurt so badly, Edward could only lay back and shake. The ache was always there, but some days it hit him and consumed him and there was nothing he could do but ride it out. Those days Roy's concerned face would loom above his, and the boy would take it upon himself to take care of everything the blonde could ever need. The first time he had witnessed it, Roy had been frightened.

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><p>A cold day had rendered them inside the day before, and so as the sun shined through Roy's bedroom window, Ed rested on the beanbag. Well, maybe rested wasn't the correct term – he squirmed, hardly able to keep silent for Roy's sake. Pain racked his being, his soul screeching and burning, unsustained, loathing that he was still not in a real body. The memories ran rampart in his mind's eye, replaying snippets of everything he had ever done, ever. Tears welled behind his eyelids. <em>Please let Roy not wake—<em>

"Ed!" Roy yelped sleepily as his eyes fell on the writhing mass of gold and old clothes.

Ed tried to reply, tried to tell Roy that it was all okay, that there was no need to worry, but his mouth refused to work properly. Instead, what came out was more of a moan torn with bits of unintelligible words.

"Ed!" the young boy leapt from his bed to stand beside Edward, pressing his small hand to Ed's forehead. "You're hot! Are you sick? What's wrong?" Again, Ed tried to reply, and again nothing understandable came out. "I'll go get someone!"

"N-no…" Ed finally got out, "won't h-elp…"

"Then what will?" Roy asked frantically.

"N-othing…" the blonde said through gritted teeth.

"There has to be—what's happening?" the boy practically yelled as he watched helplessly. Ed knew he had to be fading in and out between his mock-physical body and his ghost one, but there was nothing he could do.

Internally, he wanted to cry. Damn the circumstances. Why couldn't he just have been called forward to a mortal body? Before he had to explain everything to Roy? After this, there was going to be no avoiding it – Roy would have to know everything… "Dn't worry… n-ormal… ahh…"

"No! It's NOT normal!" Roy practically screeched. "It's not!" Ed could hear the boy's voice quaver. "W-what's happening to you? Are you going to be okay..? ….I'll… I'll go get ice!"

Ed had to wonder briefly if Roy would really come back, if he'd really continue to keep Edward a secret. Then the thoughts were washed away by another flood of pain spilling out from his head. _Fuck_ if this didn't suck.

A few hours passed by and Roy didn't make a return. Ed focused on gaining control of himself and banishing the fit. Much effort resulted in him finally being able to lay still and solid, silent tears running down his face.

The door cracked open and Roy's uncertain face peered inward. "Ed..?"

"Roy…"

In a flash, the boy was in the room, the door shut firmly behind him. "I brought ice. I'm sorry it took so long; I got caught by Mrs. Elric and she made me sit through an English lesson. Are you okay now?" As he talked, the dark-haired child placed a pack of ice over the top of Ed's head which, surprisingly, felt somewhat relieving.

"Better, yes…" Ed rasped, internally cringing at how raw his voice sounded. The last few times he had experienced such fits, Roy had been either asleep or away on some sort of trip he had been forced to go on. It was lucky timing, and Ed knew that the luck had to have run out sometime. However, he was deeply frustrated at the young boy's worry – it should have been Ed worrying about something trivial _Roy_ was going through. Trivial because Ed would never wish something as terrible as soul-ache upon anyone, especially not Roy. "Thank you…"

Roy sat quiet for a long while, perched on the edge of the beanbag while Ed willed the pain to flee his being. Every now and then, he would place his hand on Ed's cheek to wipe away the tears or adjust the ice pack, but he was silent until Ed finally spoke.

"I bet you're pretty curious about what just happened, huh?"

To Ed's surprise, Roy scowled. "Why wouldn't I be? I was… was…" then the boy's face took over a bashful appearance as he looked away from Ed. His voice dropped to a near-silent level as he said, "I was afraid you were going to die… and leave me…"

Ed smiled, a gentle pull at the edges of his lips. "I know. But I can promise you that when that happens, I will not leave you. It'll be quite different when it is time for me to go."

Roy looked back at Ed, curiosity burning in his eyes. "'When it's time for you to go'?" he questioned.

Ed focused on sitting up and ignored the accompanying shoot of pain down his spine. "Roy," he began, taking one of the boy's pale hands in his own. How was he supposed to explain this to a six, almost seven year-old? "I'm not exactly human. Yet."

"Yet?" Black eyes frowned almost more than the face they rested on.

The blonde sighed softly. "I'm a spirit. I'm waiting to be born somewhere in this world. It happens to almost everyone, just normally not for this long."

Roy cocked his head. "But I don't remember anything like this happening to me."

Ed truly smiled. He should have figured Roy would take all his information in stride. The boy spoke to him as though he had already known the truth and was just waiting for Ed to clear up all the little details. "Nobody does. I won't."

"…you'll forget me?"

Ed nodded solemnly. "And it will be your duty to find me. But don't worry. I'll look like this," Ed gestured to himself, "probably when I'm in my early twenties."

And then, Roy did one of the most unexpected things Ed had ever seen him do: he hugged Ed tightly around the neck and muttered quietly, "Okay."

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><p>Years passed by and so did the fits of soul-ache. Roy became closely intertwined with Ed than ever before. Passing standard high school requirements to graduate at age twelve, Roy was considered a genius, and Ed beamed silently in the background of his life. They had introduced Ed to his parents after Roy had procured a wig and glasses to hide Ed's appearance – after all, it wouldn't do to have people meet him as how he would appear to them much later in life. While Roy's father seemed not to care, his mother was ecstatic that her son finally made a friend. Even if he was a bit… beyond the boy's age limit. Ed introduced himself as a worker in the Mustang vineyards, and when Roy's father checked the forged records Roy had so wittingly crafted, he had no argument. Ed was free to roam the Mustang premise with Roy after "work" (which, during, he just disappeared for a while).<p>

Ed encouraged Roy to make friends as long as Ed's existence was kept a secret. It wouldn't do to have the boy completely dependent on Ed for all manners of friendship when Ed was finally born. So he did.

Ed was alone, waiting in the meadow one summer evening when it happened. Roy was thirteen.

He sat in silence, allowing the sound of the crickets to be a focus point above the constant hum of the soul-ache. Closing his eyes, he did the same routine he had done for the past eight years: ignore the pain, forget the memories, and drift over Roy.

Then, Roy stood before him, bent forward and his face almost in Ed's. "Hey. Are you just going to sit there all day?"

Ed smirked, his eyes still closed. "I was thinking about it. What's up?" When Roy didn't reply, Ed cracked an eye to take in his features. His face was losing the soft roundness of childhood in exchange for a bit sharper defined cheekbones. His eyes stayed the same, as did his messy raven hair, but he had grown taller and thinned out. Roy looked older then he really was. But what concerned Ed right then was the huge bruise that covered the teen's right eye. "What happened?"

"Nothing," Roy said quickly, moving away from Ed and sitting on the grass a few feet away.

"Liar. Tell me," Ed demanded, his voice leaving no room for discussion.

"Y'know, maybe I don't _want_ to tell you everything. You know everything about me now, but you're just gonna' forget it all in the end. What's the point of telling you anything?" Roy barked out bitterly. "As much as I'd like for you not to be, my best friend is a stupid ghost and my real friends aren't even my friends."

Ed felt a surge of rage. "I'm _so_ sorry that I'm stuck here with you. If it so inconveniences you, why don't you just _go_?"

Roy glared at him angrily. "Because you're all that I have, you stupid shortie! And you're going to leave me, probably soon! Maybe you don't realize it, but you've been fading in and out a lot lately. Don't you feel some sort of tug? What are you, some sort of stupid sensory-deprived spirit? Or are you just keeping it a secret so I can deal with the pain all on my own?"

Shock blew through Ed. "I've been fading?"

"Ever since Mrs. Elric's husband came back from his business trip. You dumbass. How could you not know?"

If he stopped to think about it, Ed supposed he _could_ feel a tug, though he had no idea about the fading thing. "Well, damn."

Roy's expression softened a little. "But I bet you're going to be born to Mrs. Elric. So maybe it won't be so hard to find you."

Ed nodded. He supposed that sounded right.

"Edward…" Roy stood again and hugged Ed tightly to him. "I'm gonna miss you…"

"Yeah…" Ed muttered quietly, hugging the teen in return. "I'll miss you, too."

"You should try letting yourself go, Ed. Th-the sooner you do…" Roy's voice faltered.

"I understand," Ed replied gently, warmly. He could really feel the pull now, reaching around him and demanding he leave his mock-physical body. "I think I will."

"Ed…" Roy's voice had a touch of fear. "When I can, I will tell you about everything. I promise."

Edward could feel himself slip away now, and he let it happen. "You do that." Gently, he pressed his lips to Roy's forehead. "Please do, Roy."

And then he let himself go, leaving Roy grasping air and hoping for the future.

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><p><strong>...I can't think of anything to say. PLEASE review. <strong>


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